ponderings of love

I have a about an hour to squeeze this puppy out–we’ll see if I can make it happen…I have a bowl of New York Cherry ice cream next to me to help me push through.

My sisters and I were musing over the phone about ‘life’ (uber big subject, I know) the other day…there are a lot of churning emotions going on in our little worlds right now.  Super heavy stuff…like life & death, friendships gone wrong, and pregnancy pains (ok, maybe this last one isn’t so heavy, but still needs to be mentioned for it’s annoying attributes).  It’s an interesting stage of life we are in right now, and things don’t seem to be getter any easier.  The trials get harder, figuring out how to do life while thriving is like a mirage in the desert…just when you think you’ve ‘got it’, it slips through your fingers again.  No agenda or plans seem concrete anymore…everything is ebb and flow, never knowing what lays beyond the river bend.

and it’s all because it’s not just you anymore.

but you wanted this, remember?  and you wouldn’t want it any other way–you know it’s true.

you  may not be wild and free like a little child running through the fields of golden, doing what delights you in each moment,  but you’re absolutely living a wild and free love..by adding numbers to yourself and taking on the challenges of being a wife, a mother, and a devoted friend.

**the one hour goal was unsuccessful because my Anna decided to cut her nap short–so if everything is a bit scattered here on, you’ll understand why.

I never did a valentine post–and I had a little valentine that I wanted to share with you all…so in the midst of my random ponderings, you will be visited by a little red cutie that loves reading books (meaning: she likes to point at objects on the page and will grunt loudly for the object’s name), making out with chocolate covered roses, and coloring one large valentine poster for daddy.

what was I talking about again?  oh yeah, heavy stuff.

all I know is that love has a way of easing some of life’s heaviness.  we need each other…. especially in times of grief and confusion.

when we experience a loss in our families or a friend lets us down—love finds a way to pop to the top of our cup–staring us square in the eyes, just waiting for us to embrace what it has to say….what is has to teach us.

I want to stay open–I never want to close myself into a cave of pain–unwilling to change, unwilling to learn, unwilling to see what I’m missing out on.

she is teaching me so much about love…..my heart burns just thinking about all the golden moments that go hand and hand with the moments I wanted to throw in the towel and surrender.

it’s tough, it’s healing, it’s powerful….I like it.

Much love ~rr


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