so….I thought my last post was the last one before baby #2 came along…and well, I can’t sit on my hands any longer…and she is content to stay curled up at the moment in my ever expanding belly…so write on I must.
hmmmmm….currently I’m in a cozy bubble of pain-free bliss and relaxation. I’m hanging out at my favorite coffee shop, sipping on my snobby Cambrique Tea paired with an excellent lemon sugar cookie topped with fancy Earl Gray icing—yumminess on a stick. I breathe in deeply…this wonderful moment. Gladly, I stop and and listen to my heart today…..and it boasts of all the blessings surrounding us this day..all the love, all the support–all the potential we have.
I should be editing photos right now…but my thoughts have trailed off to a point of needed release–and sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.
Am I anxious? maybe a little…but mostly I’m just content in knowing that the place I’m in is good…and there is no reason to desire to move to the next room until my name is called. In a way, all this additional time I have been given has been a great gift of space…a time to emotional prepare…kinda like when you’re in the waiting room at the doctor’s office past the point you thought you’d be waiting–you can either sit there twiddling your thumbs in impatience and annoyance, or you could seize that moment of space and time to rearrange your purse, quietly pray for all the people you’d promised you would pray for, catch up on text messages or e-mails on your phone, or just sit still and drink in the moment of stillness, glazed-over, watching the fish dance around in the tank in front of you.
I choose the latter….and I can’t lie…I’m enjoying the wait. there is something just so adventurous and exciting about knowing something good is about to happen to you…but you just don’t know when. You just know it’s right around the bend, ready to pop it’s head out at any moment (literally)…and I love surprises. the unknown excites me, and I find great pleasure in taking part in the waiting games life throws at us. or, maybe I just enjoy the waiting games that have goodness in store at the end of it all–yeah, that sounds right. For who of us likes to wait for a punishment or for bad news to come our way? Not me says the little lamb, not me. I can still remember my mother telling me one time when I was a young child that she was gonna spank me when we got home because I was being naughty on a car ride (yes, I was spank as a child, and I still turned out as a ‘normally’ functioning adult)…well, I couldn’t take the wait…I begged her while we went about our errands to get it over with right then and there—please Mom! I pleaded over and over…sounds kinda crazy, right? to beg for my punishment…but the wait was killing me….and I couldn’t get my mind off the pain that was to come.
Interesting enough…pain is coming my way once again…in the form of childbirth, but it doesn’t seem as bad as that spanking in my mind, because I don’t feel like I will be alone in my pain, I will have the love and support of Tony and of friends and family who I know would do anything for me at a drop of a hat…and that makes facing the unavoidable pain to come bearable–especially since you get to hold the valuable prize of your hard-earned work in the end: your precious babe.
Well, this last piece of independent-freedom pie for awhile was absolutely delicious. I know I will see these days again….I’ll just have to wait. And when they return once again, I will embrace them just as I will embrace my new little babe…in absolute pleasure.
no matter what day God decides to send you our way little bean, we know it will be just as it’s suppose to be….
and that thought makes us very happy.