Scattered, messy and time consuming. I had a moment of recollection today as I ‘picked’ a whole batch of blueberries off my kitchen floor twice today (yeah, the basket tipped over twice)….I guess the good Lord really didn’t want me to miss this one.
Ummmpff. I know I’m learning lessons of my lack of patience right now. I’m finding myself in total “go” mode most of the time….what can I accomplish? what can I cross off my ever growing list? Work projects are morphing into large impermeable walls that I have to find a way to scale. I just want it all done…now.
Reality check. It’s a process—it take’s time….it’s normal for projects to be scattered and messy at times. I’m not an army of 50–and that’s ok.
Where does all this urgency come from anyways? Or this need for all my ducks to be in a row? Where is the balance?
Am I just addicted to the feeling of accomplishment maybe? I just want to be ready…ready for what?
I want to slow down…take each room at a time…plant each flower with careful thought….and pick each blueberry one by one off my dirty floor.
I don’t want to simply miss living because I’m too busy living. And living to do what? To accomplish stuff?
I want to glow from the inside out, to feel my pulse and to maybe even see others outside my fort of reconstruction. It’s a work in progress….a process of letting go of constant control.
Sometimes I dream of myself living out on the prairie lands like Laura Ingalls Wilder….where everything was produced by the sweat of one’s brow and having grit was the way of life. Things just seemed so much simpler then….and yet everyone worked so much harder. I cannot deny I have thanked God many times as I pulled my freshly cleaned clothes out of the dryer–knowing what it took years and years ago to clean one’s laundry. So, I guess the fantasy of that time for me was the pride and pleasure they had in the simpler things of life…like Pa’s fiddle.
Here are some visuals on my recent labors–definitely not ‘accomplished’ yet– (side yard) Man, do I ever wish those weekend warrior people from the show would surprise me at my front door.
I pulled this huge chuck of falling down fence to the side of the road—it kinda looks like one of those sculptures you see at random places, doesn’t it?
and the massive organization project has continued….I’m laughing to myself because I finally feel like I have fully moved into my home. Wow…took me about 2 years–that is all.
In the midst of helping me “organize,” Anna got a plastic cap stuck on her head all cute like.
So, besides all the weekend/weekday warrior action going on around here–we are prepping for my youngest sister’s wedding and baby girl’s final official birthday party.
Bethany and Justin are an adorable couple–and I am thrilled to welcome Justin arms wide open into our family.
It’s gonna be a rockin’ awesome wedding–these two know how to party!! (photos soon to come)
Bethany is the last of my siblings to tie the knot–she’s the baby–and therefore has a special place in all our hearts. Justin treats Bethany like the little princess she is–which is all I ever wanted for her–since she is the little princess of the family, and everybody knows it.
Almost 1–can you believe it?
1 is big. I can already tell the ‘1 switch’ is being turned on….she is starting to toddle friends….not that I have captured any photos yet of it–since she seems to time if perfectly to when my camera is on the other side of the house…but someday soon we’ll catch it on camera and/or video—she can’t hide it from the world forever =)
I remember this week very vividly one year ago….final preparations being made before the welcoming of our little love. It was a week of elevated emotion–knowing that at any moment our world was going to forever change, not knowing what we were getting ourselves into. I remember feeling the heart pounding wonder of what birth was like–and preparing myself to experience one of God’s greatest miracles.
I may be scrabbling to the very end with all the last minute details going into this weekend—but it will be awesome–I can promise you that.
cause she’s worth it.
one of anna’s favorite Big Girl things to do–climb on top of my old Mexican chair and take in the world moving passed her.
There will be much to show and tell after this ginormous of a weekend is over.
Take care friends, I’ve gotta go clean some blueberries up for lunch.